Tell Him
by vulpixfairy
Summary: A yaoi fanfic with RS pairing. Summary: Sora has been harbouring his affections towards Riku for quite some time...until one moment in the tree house...(rated for shounen-ai)


Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Author's notes: My first KH shounen-ai fic. This fic inspired by some of the shounen-ai fics in this wonderful category. Please do give this one a chance. I know that the previous one ('United We Stand') was probably not worth reading but give this one a read. Please? (Innocent smile). And...I'll try to keep the language simple.

Warnings: Possible OOC and shounen-ai (Riku/Sora)

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Tell Him

It was the perfect time for me to think for myself as I sat alone in the tree house in the late afternoon of Destiny Islands, thinking what had happened in the previous years in Kingdom Hearts. So much has happened, I have admit. Being with Donald and Goofy, saving Kairi and seeing Riku locked behind the door, only to hear his voice. I could remember it so vividly, the way his face was contorted determination and conviction and his voice deep and full of pleading. It pained me that Riku went through so much trouble and it brought guilt, hitting squarely on my conscience. The guilt, I discovered over a long period of time, transformed into something that was bizarre that it really scared me.

'Riku...'

As if on cue, I could make out a swift running figure coming from another direction and heading towards the tree house. Upon instinct, I squeezed myself into the darkest corner, sighing with relieved confidence that no one would see me. The shadows covered me so perfectly that I felt like a Heartless waiting upon its victim. My eyes caught a flash of silver hair and a black-gloved hand: Riku.  
I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing that I would be spotted soon, even though I'm perfectly hidden. Riku had very sharp eyesight and there's nothing that could escape his span. He was always proud to be able track me down in my best hiding places during our hide-and-seek games in our childhood. But the victorious shout didn't come. Instead, I heard the sound of heavy breathing. Wordlessly I looked up and sucked in my breath at the sight. Riku was near the opening where the sunrays are shining through. All curled up, his face barely visible, my best friend looked...almost vulnerable. What surprised me the most was the silvery liquid trailing mercilessly down his cheeks. I observed as Riku delivered a harsh sob and furiously wiped away his tears. He sighed in defeat when he found the tears weren't stopping. It dawned on me that Riku was really crying in front of me and he never noticed me when he entered.

I badly wanted to step out of the shadows and comfort him. Yet I stayed put and watched further. I felt scared for some strange reason. Riku was always the one we could depend upon, the rock of the trio, he being the oldest in our group. He wasn't a great receiver of comfort. But seeing him in this state brought a new realisation that even strong people like Riku have their vulnerabilities. In my head, I hoped that Riku wouldn't think me to be a weakling if I said I've been watching him cry and offer him the comfort I think he rightfully deserved. I swallowed the lump in my throat and slowly stepped out of the shadows, little by little, until only my face was shown.

It struck me as I stopped. Why was he crying? My heart fell when I thought up the most obvious reason of his ailment. He could be in love with another. And the other broke his heart. Riku may not look it but I know that he's capable of loving. He had been acting strangely with Kairi, maybe she became his target of affections. I sighed quietly and thought about withdrawing back into the shadowy haven. Riku's in love with Kairi...how could he possibly love me when he thinks of me as his best friend. I guess what Leon said to me was true. Life could be cruel at times. Although I felt clueless of what I should do, I only knew that Riku needed help, even if he had no idea about my affections.

Riku then chose the perfect time to let out a sniff and bury his head in between his knees. His shoulders were shaking now as I could hear all the muffled sobs he's releasing. I felt like crying myself and as I looked at him. But just when I wanted to turn back even more, my heart and conscience fought back. I've always been a giver of compassion and I can't pass the chance to just leave him to suffer in the name of love and friendship. I held back the urge to immediately voice my presence, knowing that it would startle in him into getting involved in a fight.

After what it seemed to be a very long while, I finally took up the initiative to fully step out of the shadows. I was amazed that Riku didn't hear the wooden boards squeak from the impact of my shoes. I stopped and found myself kneeling before him, just a distance of mere centimetres, just close enough to reach out to him. And that's just what I did.

"Riku..." I whispered softly as I reached out to lightly touch his arm.

I quickly drew back when the silvery head shot up. I blinked my eyes to find a tear-streaked face of Riku staring blankly and shocked at me. Pain and sadness was visible. I never seen him like this, even when we were kids. I badly wanted to close the distance to embrace him but I held it back, feeling that I should find the cause of his pain.

"Are you all right?" there was no answer from him but I gently pressed on, "What's wrong?"

"How did you end up here, Sora?" was Riku's question.

I shivered at the tone. How could he control his voice when he was crying a while ago?

"I'm sorry, Riku. I was here earlier before you came..." I confessed, watching his aquamarine eyes widen, "I saw you crying."

Riku turned his head away briefly, letting out little sniffs. I felt a bit hurt at that moment but I pressed on.

"There's nothing wrong about it, Riku. No one gave you permission to let out a good cry..." I scooted closer and immediately clasp one of his hands. He tensed at the contact but relaxed, "I want to help you, Riku."

At this point, the pain on Riku's face was slowly vanishing though a trace remained. He stared at me in wonderment before looking at our hands. Almost at once, a warm glow made his pale skin look like golden sand. Seeing that it was a positive reaction that he's not rejecting my actions, I sat down to relieve my aching knees and held his hand in a tighter grip, all the while staring into his eyes. I could feel myself heating up and I was almost sure that I'd have a blush on my cheeks. His breath hitched when I eventually got to sit beside him and leaned against his shoulder. My own sadness of Riku not knowing my affections hadn't been taken care of yet I know that some way or another, the truth will be revealed.

"Sora?"

"Huh?"

"I..." my eyes lit up slightly at his tone. But it soon disappeared when he sighed in resign, "It's nothing...it slipped my mind."

At that point, my heart was beating painfully against my ribs. Riku was definitely trying to avoid my questioning and what's more it made it more difficult to pluck more courage to talk to him in a more open way. It was so plain and simple, I have fallen hard for my best friend and rival, even after Kingdom Hearts. There was nothing to explain, I felt it and it was there. Without realizing, my bottom lip was quivering. I wanted so much to tell him what was in my heart, how much he meant to me, how much I wanted to show him that he was really cared for who he was, how much I had long admired him for things I didn't, couldn't and wouldn't have...as I thought more about it, the insecurity of Riku being with another grew darker along with my doubts.

"Sora..."

Riku's voice sounded deep and soothing to my ears that I unconsciously squeezed his hand even harder and letting out a breath I didn't know I held. I was beside with surprise when I felt one of his muscular arms wrap around my shoulders that I was pressed against the warm weight of his body. Now my head was snugly fit under his chin and against his collarbone. I found myself embracing him back, all the while the maddening rush of pleasures waves travelling in my veins. My free hand then found its way on his chest and I could feel the solid thumping of his heart.

"Sora...thank you..." a rush of warmth coursed through my body, this time I looked up at him and found him flashing gratitude, "No one's comforted me like this before."

I nodded with a wry grin, "No problem...that's what...friends are for, right?"

I dropped my head as soon as I said the last words. I said them so softly that I thought they were barely audible even to Riku's keen sense of hearing. The residing pain was starting up again. It pained me to think that we couldn't be more than friends, from the way I saw it. In my mind, if this was the closest to Riku I could get, I won't regret it and treasure the moment as long as I could and let the flame of love enslave my heart.

"Sora?" Riku's hand was gripping my shoulder gently and I could feel his chin nuzzling my head. I blushed, nothing how intimate our contact had become, "Is something wrong?"

"Huh?"

I felt a cool finger touch the underside of my chin, making me look up to the sight of his face now laced with concern, "You look a little bit...sad. Is something wrong?"

At this, I avoided his eye contact and focused the sight of our linked hands. I couldn't tell him even though he's my best friend. What if my confession ruined what was supposed to be in store for him? What if he hated me if I told? I'd rather be assured that Riku would be safe in a future without me inside to ruin it...not after what happened to him in the past...

"Please...I don't like to see you sad..." Riku pleaded and it broke my heart.

I inhaled shakily and looked back at my best friend. I gripped his hands firmly, unconsciously placing one of his free palms on my chest to let him know how fast my heart raced because of him. He drew back, slightly startled at my actions.

'Please don't hate me for this...'

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"Riku...I'm sorry..."

"For what?"

"For every bad thing that happened to you because of me. Back in Kingdom Hearts. If I hadn't been so naive and brought you with me earlier, you wouldn't have fallen into the darkness with Maleficent. I was so scared as soon as the door closed. Although I knew there were little chances to find you, I kept on hoping that I could find you. It's been so long yet it still haunts me. And-"

"Sora," Riku placed a finger on my lips to pause me, "There's nothing for to be sorry about. I deserved to go through the pain for jumping to conclusions and the horrible things I did to you, Kairi and other innocent people. But you still haven't answered my question."

"Riku..." I whispered quietly as I quivered nervously, "Please forgive me..."

"Sora, what-"

Before I knew what was happening, I moved on my own accord and pressed my lips against his. Riku let out a sharp inhale at the contact. After a tender brush, I pulled back, instantly turning my back on him.

"Sora...why did you do it..."

I cringed visibly, "Riku, losing you made me realize how much you really meant to me. You seem to exist in every plane of my mind and I couldn't stop myself from thinking about you. I've fallen for you hard. I only hope that you won't push me away and we can still be friends..."

A pregnant silence hung heavily in the air. All I could hear was the sounds of our breathing. I didn't dare to look back and my eyes started to burn slightly.

"I guess...I guess I should get going...I'm sorry to bother you and I'll be happy if you can find it in your heart to forgive me," I cleared my throat and stood up ready to leave.

Just as I was about to exit, Riku's gloved hand gripped mine, his voice cold, "Where do you think you're going?"

I winced and stilled. I could hear him standing up behind me. I shivered as his arms positioned to wrap around my upper torso.

"I didn't tell you my answer yet, Sora," his lips were near my ear.

I rotated my head and body slowly, only to find Riku lightly smiling at me, "Riku?"

He said nothing as he held my chin and pressed his mouth onto mine. I gasped but soon relaxed in his embrace. At that moment, I felt like I was on cloud nine and his arms were what prevented me from melting into a sentimental puddle of nerves. I whimpered softly when he deepened the kiss with a brief period of tongue hockey. By the time the kiss ended, I was dazed with pleasant delirium, hardly believing that Riku reciprocated my actions. I looked up with a grin to find a pretty flush sporting his pale cheeks. He chuckled softly when he found me blushing too.

"I feel the same way, Sora..." Riku confessed as he cupped my flushed cheek and brushed a chaste kiss on the skin.

"Then...what about Kairi?"

"Her? I only love her like a sister...besides you know me better than anyone else."

I laughed breathlessly and hugged Riku close to my heart, burying my cheek against his strong shoulder. I could feel his hand combing my hair and cheek nuzzling near my neck. I felt as if my heart would burst. There were no words to describe this wonderful feeling. Was it love I'm feeling now? Without knowing, I sighed shakily and started to cry silently out of pure happiness. Riku pulled back as he felt the drops on the skin of his shoulder.

"Sora! What's wrong?" Riku asked with concern as he brushed the tears away from my cheeks. His concern turned to surprise when he saw my smile, "Are you all right?"

"I'm okay...I'm just...happy, Riku," I said as I wiped the rest of the tears away.

Riku sighed with relief and pulled away, heading towards the tree house's exit. He climbed down and I followed suit. As soon as I touched the ground, he held my hand and we began a lazy stroll towards the islet: the place where we frequently had our fighting duels. We stood staring towards the horizon where the sun was setting.

"But seriously, Sora, I don't want to lose you ever again..." he murmured deeply as he looked at me.

I gave him an assuring gaze, "You won't."

"But what if I can't find you..." his voice sounded insecure, "I don't want to be lost in the darkness again."

I gazed at the sun before turning back to him, "Let me be your light, Riku."

"What?" he whispered.

"I remember my mom told me that the darkness comes because they are places the light hasn't reached yet. If you are ever caught in the darkness, always look out for a light. And know that I'll be there reaching and waiting for you."

He seemed mystified by my words as a tender look crossed his features. He wrapped me in his protective arms as mine snaked around his waist. I swore that I couldn't let him go even though I would physically. He seemed to think the same as he rocked me gently back and forth, gripping me tightly that I almost couldn't breathe.

"I don't think I'll ever let you go, Sora, because I wouldn't let you out of my sight."

I chuckled softly, "I think so too."

I felt as if I was free like the seagulls in the sky. Although we knew of what obstacles we would face in the future, it didn't matter now because we finally found each other. Without another worry, Riku and I spent the rest of the long tropical afternoon gazing at the sunset together.

OWARI

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Author's note: OK, this is the best I could come up. Please give this one a chance? Positive and/or constructive criticism is welcome. 


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